


What are you Afraid of?

by Fujinakaheero



Series: War of Hearts Arc [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, CEO Alec, Closeted Alec, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mundane Magnus Bane/Mundane Alec Lightwood, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sequel, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 22:23:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12993783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fujinakaheero/pseuds/Fujinakaheero
Summary: Alec and Magnus are finally settling into the whole relationship thing. Alec learns life does not stop just because you are having fun though. Struggles begin to arise and the honeymoon phase is beginning to wear off. Can Alec maintain a relationship with Magnus while still hiding who is from his parents? Or will life come in tidal waves and knock over everything he so carefully built?Sequel to You're My First For Many Things. (arc 2) Please read the first arc to understand this one!(New title, as I just didn't like the other one)





	What are you Afraid of?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm back and the sequel is here! Took me a little longer to write than I thought it would and hopefully I can start a set update time each week once the holidays are passed.  
> I do promise to try and update weekly still! Thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments and love that the first arc got. I'm completely taken aback from the responses and I just want to thank you all for that! This will be a slow burn and will have more chapters than the first arc. Lots of angst to come, just so you are warned. 
> 
> Not much else to say.  
> Check out the playlist for this arc, as it gets updated often with more music that inspires this arc.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKKtUwFXVy4&list=PLj-7tL8WB-jyqXMZl_xBbzocxWy2G1F52
> 
> Warning: All mistakes are my own as this is unedited. Thanks for powering through!

The ceiling stared glaringly down at Magnus taunting him as he laid awake, alone in his bed. This had been going on for about a month now, where he would go to bed and then just lay there, staring at the ceiling, hoping answers would come to him. Three more months had gone by that Alec and Magnus seen together. They were finally hitting their six months together and yet it seemed as if they were further apart now than when they had first started this adventure together. Alec, now being the CEO of Ligbtwood Advertising, found himself constantly buried in work which was leaving their time together shorter than before. There had been a lot of nights where Alec didn’t even come to the loft, instead he went back to his own apartment which was closer to his work. Magnus understand but it still hurt all the same. The coolness of the empty bed beside him reminded him of that.

Deep down, it wasn’t the fact that Alec had to work a lot of late nights, it was the fact that Magnus worried that perhaps Alec was avoiding him because of Lydia. Ever since she had appeared in Alec’s life Magnus had heard a lot more about it, mostly due to the fact that Alec continued being a diligent son and making friends with her, trying to keep up the pretense to his parents that he was anything but gay and it would have been a lot more believable that Alec wasn’t planning on going along with Maryse and Robert’s plan if he hadn’t started seeing Lydia outside of family and business functions.

The fifth time Alec had told him that he couldn’t come over because he was out with Lydia for the day and that he’d be back in the evening, had been their first fight.  Some terrible things had been said to one another in the heat of the moment and insecurities had come forth by the end of it, confessions as tears trailed down the smooth tan skin as strong arms circled around him, holding him close.

Magnus didn’t like to cry, he didn’t usually cry, and yet since being with Alexander he found himself doing it a lot more than usual. Not all tears were bad, some were associated with very happy times, some with the grief of knowing that he couldn’t do anything to help his beautiful man free himself from the chains around his wrist, and some were for the sadness he felt, like tonight, as he wished desperately for his strong, alabaster smooth skinned boyfriend to come through the doors and just hold him as they fell asleep.

Warm welcoming arms were curling around him, pulling him in close as his sleep ridden mind registered them, black lashes fluttered and then a fuzzy amber eye peaked open, seeing the red alarm clock numbers, 3:07AM, glaring at him. Alec had come back to him tonight. He sunk into the heat, letting himself be consumed completely by his Alexander. His mind drifted back, letting sleep rope him back in. A murmur ghosted over the back of his neck as he was dragged away, into dreams of sunshine, picnics, laughter, and complete freedom.

* * *

 

Magnus was surprised by who stood on the other side of his threshold to the entrance to his loft. In all her glory, Isabelle Lightwood stood there, arms crossed over her arms as she smirked at him.  He wasn’t sure what she was doing here though it wasn’t as awkward as it could have been. They had started talking, after she got her number from her parents, through text and phone calls  since the Christmas party. And he was so secretly thankful for the blooming friendship with his boyfriend’s younger sister. She gave insight to his stubborn lover that he wouldn’t get anywhere else.  It was an unlikely friendship[p he hadn’t seen coming, yet once getting to know her he was surprised they hadn’t started this sooner.  He stepped aside, letting her step inside, heels clicking as she took her deliberate steps.

“Not that I don’t enjoy company, but what brings you all the way over here to my neck of the woods?” He asked as he shut the door behind her.

He watched the young Lightwood look around his loft, scanning the area before striding over to his small dining table that Alec and him had ate at just this morning, for once both of them had gotten up early enough to enjoy a morning together fully. She sat in the chair her brother usually sat at and he couldn’t help the smirk that spread on his own lips. A perfectly shaped dark eyebrow arched at him in question but nothing was said. He chose to lean against his island, eyes on her as he waited for Isabelle to speak.

“I know this is a really random visit but I’m getting worried about Alec.” He knew as soon as she showed up it would be about the person they both loved dearly. A word he hadn’t actually used with his young raven yet.

“Worried? Why?” He didn’t know what else to say or ask, he was worried too. Isabelle also worrying did nothing for him. It confirmed that he wasn’t just seeing things.

“He’s throwing himself into work, completely and I shouldn’t be surprised and I’m not. Honestly that’s not even why I came here.” Magnus felt the questions coming, he was hungry for any information on Alexander. Their time together lately had been far to brief. Isabelle sighed, running a hand through her long silky locks the same dark chocolate brown as her brother’s. 

“Look Magnus, last night he stopped by at our parents’ house. I could hear everything, there was a lot of yelling so I may have snuck down to listen. He told them about how them setting up him and Lydia wasn’t going to happen. That he wasn’t going to do any kind of arranged marriage. It wasn’t the first time he had stopped by to tell them to stop forcing the two of them together.” While this was surprising and welcoming news to Magnus, he didn’t understand why then the young girl was so concerned. He didn’t see what the problem was. “Magnus, he won’t say anything to them though, about himself, about you. No matter how many fights they have about all of this, he still won’t just tell them. I thought once he finally had the company that he had worked so hard for, he would maybe… finally come out? So he could be free. He looks absolutely miserable any time we see him these days. I don’t know how to help him.” It was true too, Magnus had noticed the grief that lingered in the azure depths. Hell even they had started fighting and he didn’t like it.

“I’ve noticed too. Unfortunately, we can only just be there for him. This is something he needs to do for himself if he wants to truly, fully be happy.” He finally moved away from the island and went to where his stash of fine alcohols were, making himself a drink before going to sit opposite the young girl, on his usual spot at his table. He took a long drag from the dark liquid before setting it down and giving her a long look.

“Has he said anything to you?” He heard the desperate plea behind the question. He could remember the times Alec had broken down, telling him time and time again how unfair he was being to Magnus, how the older man deserved better. He wasn’t willing to share the intimate conversations though. They weren’t words that were meant to be heard by everyone.

“Not about that, he didn’t even tell me that he had talked to his parents.  I know he’s been seeing a lot more of Lydia though. I thought he was being a diligent son.” And if his words sounded just a little more bitter than before, then so be it. He couldn’t hide how the new development hurt and scared him just a little.

“Lydia knows about him, Magnus. She knows you two are dating. She’s kind of… becoming a good friend to him. That’s why they’ve been spending time together.” The news caught him off guard completely. How did she know about Alec? Did he tell her? Would he have told her? He was pretty secretive about it at all, his sexuality and his relationship with Magnus. He usually checked their surroundings every couple minutes while they were out together, making sure no one knew him as he walked closely beside the shorter man. 

“How did she find out? Did Alec tell her?” Now he was curious. Alexander hadn’t told him this tidbit of information.

“She knew, I guess, something about how one look at him told her all she needed to know.  She told him she would help him any way he needed and they just got close. It may come as a surprise but Alec really doesn’t have a lot of friends, not close ones that he feel comfortable being open to. I know Tessa is close with him, but even they haven’t seen each other much.”

“How do you know that?”

“Tessa and I see each other every so often. We usually keep each other up to date on my brother. She told me recently that she hadn’t seen him in some time, that’s why she messaged me to check on him.” It was concerning that Alec, who use to spend a lot of time with the eccentric girl, had barely seen her lately.

“I didn’t know.” He whispered.

“I don’t know Magnus, it’s just not like him. Last night was scary. He had stormed out of the house after the explosion and I could tell he was furious. I haven’t seen him so furious in so long.”

“Well, wouldn’t you be if your parents were trying to set you up with someone to marry?” He could see why his Alexander was so angry.

“Of course I would be! Hell, I’d fight my parents tooth and nail, but they expect that from me. Alec doesn’t have screaming matches with them. I want to make sure that if he does come out, you’ll be here, ready to catch him as he falls. I think the rebellion had a lot to do with you. You make him happy. So much happier than he’s ever been. Max agrees.” 

“I will always be there for him. If we’re being honest though,” he paused, admitting that they were having troubles aloud was a lot harder than he cared to admit, “we’ve been fighting a lot lately too. Mostly about him not coming out. I’ve barely seen him lately.” He turned away as he picked up his glass, downing the rest of the amber liquid, relishing in the burn as it ran down his chest.

“Well I never said my brother was the smartest man around, he’s quite dense at times.” He let a small laugh escape past his lips at that. He stood from his spot at the table and made his way over to his bourbon, pouring himself another generous amount. The overload of information he was receiving was setting him on edge and he hoped the strong drink would help that.

“I’ve noticed. I suppose I should try and speak with him then, shouldn’t I?” He tried to keep his tone light but he felt the seriousness of the situation. It worried him how much the tall raven had withdrawn since taking over his father’s company.

“Probably. If you need to talk, you are always welcomed to call Magnus. Speaking of, Max and I have decided you need to have brunch with us this weekend, regardless if Alec comes or not, we won’t take no for an answer. I think the kid loves you more than Alec does.” He snorted at that. He had seen Max frequently since the Christmas party. It was odd how easy it was to talk to the child, he was far wiser than his years.

“Fine. Fine. I thought your brother was bad, you two are worst by comparison. Will I ever be introduced properly to Jace?” Alec hadn’t come out to Jace, or at least he didn’t think he had, so he hadn’t been formally introduced to the blond, not the way he had been to Isabelle and Max.  Alec never told him why that was and he never asked.  

He saw the hesitancy in the bright blue eyes.

“He doesn’t exactly know. I’m sorry Magnus. I promised Alec I wouldn’t say anything to anyone about him or you and I’m not exactly sure why he hasn’t said anything to Jace, I think he thinks that Jace will freak out. Couldn’t tell you why, but I think being in the closet for so long has made it so much harder for him to admit to it… I can only guess of course.” He nodded at the young girl’s words.  

“I understand. Well as much as I have enjoyed this, I need to head out, unless of course you would like to join me?” Her wide blues lit up.

“Where are you going?” Isabelle’s voice was eager and excited.

“I need to go get some fabrics, a few pieces of furniture I ordered, and then I thought perhaps I might grab a bite to eat, unless of course, that is too mundane for you?” He teased her as he saw her all but bouncy in her seat.

“I wasn’t doing anything to be honest! I would love to hang out!”

It had taken Magnus another fifteen minutes to get himself ready, a list tucked in his satchel that he hung across his chest and over his left shoulder when they finally left his loft.

* * *

 

Their week continued on as it had been so far, playing tag in seeing one another. Magnus was waiting for just a time where they could actually talk, hopefully without it escalating. Honestly, he wanted to forgo the talking and just drag the lean, tall man to the bedroom and worship every part of that body with his mouth. The intimacy between them had been taken down a notch recently even though he had been pretty sure they were finally working towards the final step in that department. Not that he felt they had to have sex in order for their relationship to keep going, but he had been a bit hopefully. He had had a taste before, seen how amazing it was to be joined completely with the ivory man and he felt himself wanting it again, more so now.

His phone began vibrating next to him and he picked it up to see the name ‘Alexander’ light up the phone. He leaned back in his chair, happy for the distraction from his work.

“Hello beautiful.” He answered the phone. He wondered what Alec could be calling him about now.

“Hey, I’m leaving early today so I thought maybe w-we could do dinner?” It was surprising how timid the young man’s voice sounded. Perhaps Alec was also picking on the tension between them lately?

“I would love that. In or out?” Magnus asked.

“I thought we could hit that Chinese place you were talking about a while ago? I-I mean, if you want to.”  Magnus perked up at that.

“Oh, Jade Wolf? They have the best dumplings. That sounds wonderful Alexander. Are we just going to meet here?”

“C-could you pick me up? I left my car at home today, unless that’s too much. Never mind, I’ll meet you at your pla-“

“I would love to come and get you.” Magnus cut him off. Any real time with Alec was something he would take without a second thought.

“O-okay. I should be done in about an hour, if that’s good?” He could hear the hopeful tone in Alec’s voice.

“I will see you then. Should I pull around back?” It would still be light out and he knew Alec wouldn’t want to be seen, especially by any of his workers. Gossip could be a nasty thing.

“Yeah. I’ll see you then. I-“ He heard the pause, the hesitation in the quiet voice.

“Hmm?” He tried to encourage without asking directly.

“N-nothing. I’ll see you soon Magnus.” And then he hung up, leaving the line quiet as Magnus pulled his phone away and turned it off.

He stood up from his work desk, stretching toned arms high above his head as he stretched his stiff joints. He was going to finally have some much needed with his boyfriend and perhaps the funk they were in would finally go away. It was far too early in their relationship to be dealing with such drama after all and he just wanted to go back to how it was, fun and full of excitement.

* * *

 

Saturday found the couple sitting at some fancy restaurant with Alec’s little siblings. As promised, they met up with Izzy and Max for brunch and so far the conversation had been light hearted. He liked watching the Lightwood siblings interact with one another, the light banter, the little jabs, and all the stories he got to hear was refreshing as well as giving him a new perspective on his brooding boyfriend.  What got Magnus the most though was seeing how soft Alec’s features turned when his brothers or sister was around. They were everything to him, the reason he did what he did. It was hard to keep his eyes off of the tall raven when he looked so happy and content, completely in his element.

“So I totally blamed the toaster catching on fire on Jace. He was so confused when he got home that evening and mom was hounding him. It was too good… well that was until they figured out I lied. Grounded for a month and all my electronics were confiscated too. Probably should have thought that through a little more.” Max’s voice carried over the table. He was so much like his brother, his presence commanded attention. Magnus was more than happy to oblige, Max was quite the story teller and he was much more easy going that his big brother was. Alec could have been like this if he hadn’t been molded to fit the expectations of his parents almost to a T. He supposed, as he watched Max animate as he started another story, this was why he did it all though. His siblings were his reason for enduring such hardships and Magnus could see it very clearly today.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” The soft baritone of a male voice startled them and all eyes were drawn up, looking at the intruder who dared disturb their meal. Magnus was shocked to meet bright blue eyes and a head full of messy blond locks. Jace. The hand he had been holding under the table for most of their meal suddenly pulled from his grasp as Alec stood up, facing his step-brother as everyone’s eyes continued to watch on. He could see the sheepish grin spreading on the rugged face as the two men stared at each other. Finally Jace was the one to break the silence that had fallen at the table.

“Look, I know you didn’t want to tell me. I get it. Honestly, I kind of always knew. Isabelle invited me to come so we could get this out in the open.” Jace looked over at Isabelle and Magnus didn’t miss the small shrug of her shoulders at him. The older man felt bad, this was the third time Alec was getting outted by one of his siblings. Not once had it been on his terms and he felt for his lover. Alexander didn’t do well with surprises.

“I-W-why didn’t you s-say something sooner then? Why the surprise now Jace?” The stutter and the wobble in the deep voice spoke volumes of how nervous and worried the young raven was.  

“I was hoping you would say something to be me. I knew you were seeing someone. It was obvious with the change in your mood, the way you would look down at your phone as you typed away on it. You’re different and I knew it was because you finally met someone.” He saw the colour drain from the pale skin and held out a comforting hand when the lean body next to him fell back in its chair.

“It w-was that obvious?” And Magnus knew what he was thinking, could see the gears turning as he tried to process everything. He was worried his parents had seen it too. Jace also caught on.

“N-no! Not what I meant.” He took the empty seat at the head of the table, looking at everyone for some help. Everyone sent a sympathetic shrug his way. The bronze man grabbed a hold of the ivory hand hanging limply at his side and entwined their fingers, trying to give some reassurance. “Mom and dad have no idea! They think the changes are because of Lydia. Alec, man, your secret is safe with us. We won’t say anything until you are ready to say something. I just wish you would have trusted me a little more. Kind of sucks being the last to find out something.”

Isabelle finally spoke, revealing her little plan. “Alec, I wanted to show you that we’re all here, rooting for you. We got your back. Plus we really like Magnus, that’s why we wanted Jace to meet him.”

“Oh, I’ve already met Jace but the sentiment is nice.” The dark haired man finally felt he could speak. Deft fingers clutched harder at his hand, holding it tightly.

“I know you two have met before, but I meant, I wanted Jace to meet you as Alec’s boyfriend, not the planner my parents hired.”

“Ah, well then. Nice to meet you on a more personal level Jace.” Magnus was trying to lighten the mood, reassure Alec that this was ok. If he was honest with himself, he was actually quite happy to finally meet all of Alec’s important people as the boyfriend and not some person their parents used for business. It was a much more intimate setting.

All eyes looked to Alec, waiting for the eldest Lightwood to say something.  He must have felt the eyes on his being. He slowly rose his head, making direct eye contact with each of his family one at a time. Magnus could see he was looking for the reassurance in their own gazes before he said a word. When he finally meet eyes with his adopted brother, they stared at one another for a minute before Magnus saw the small smile break out across his features. He let go of the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding when he saw the smile.

“Uh yeah, Jace this is Magnus, my b-boyfriend. Magnus this is Jace, my other brother.” And as if they hadn’t been introduced a few times now, Magnus held his hand out to shake Jace’s. It felt silly and he couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips when Jace took his out stretched hand. When they let go he could see the blond’s shoulder slump in relief and then he was removing his leather jacket, finally properly joining them for brunch.

And just like before the young blond had joined them, Magnus sat back, hand still entwined with the young raven’s, and watched the Lightwood siblings share stories and banter with him, inviting him into their little family with each new story they shared.


End file.
